Hello again, Rivonia Central!

In our last exciting instalment, we started looking at what makes the difference between a vibrant, successful shopping centre like Rivonia Village, and a downmarket, poorly-tenanted, clearly unsuccessful one like Rivonia Central (formerly Oriental City, previously Rivonia Square, originally "The Cloisters").

Rivonia Village centre is built around an open-air car park. This allows shoppers to park and then walk to the shops they want on the same level. Convenient. They can also have their cars standing in the weather, getting hot in summer and cold in winter.  And having to slog through the rain when it does occasionally rain. Rivonia Central is much more of a indoors centre.  But then, so is Sandton City.

Despite the open-air version seeming less rational even in South Africa, shoppers seem to prefer it.

Can it be that, as South Africans, we long for the outdoors even when we have become city dwellers? You see so many SUVs and four-by-fours that patently never see a dirt road.  Perhaps we like to see the sky, feel the sun and the wind.  If that is so, it would be well.  Maybe we still have some love for the planet we are destroying through fossil fuels and plastics,  Mayhap, even, we also have the will to reverse our damage.

Odd Jobs

French bread is a pain.

Passing the Hair Salon Event Horizon?

In his book The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (the second book in the five-book Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy trilogy), author Douglas Adams introduced a concept called the "Shoe Event Horizon".

It is explained thus: "Many years ago, this was a thriving, happy planet – people, cities, shops, a normal world. Except that on the high streets of these cities there were slightly more shoe shops than one might have thought necessary. And slowly, insidiously, the numbers of these shoe shops were increasing. It’s a well known economic phenomenon but tragic to see in operation, for the more shoe shops there were, the more shoes they had to make and the worse and more unwearable they became. And the worse they were to wear, the more people had to buy to keep themselves shod, and the more the shops proliferated until the whole economy of the place passed what I believe is termed the Shoe Event Horizon, and it became no longer economically possible to build anything other than shoe shops. Result – collapse, ruin and famine."

Now look at the number of new hair salons in Rivonia Central listed directly below:  Has the Hair Salon Event Horizon already been passed?  Are we doomed?

New on the Block, Movers and Shakers  Back to top

• Nu Image Hair, Shop L09, Lower Level in Rivonia Central (formerly Oriental City) – "A cut, a touch above the rest". Individual lashes, eyebrow tint, microbonding closures, Peruvian hair, nails, lace wigs. Men's haircut.
• Bloom & Pastor Cutz Hair Studio, Shop L06, Lower Level in Rivonia Central (formerly Oriental City) – "Fresh haircut boost confidence".
• L&PP Hair & Beauty, Shop L02A, Lower Level in Rivonia Central (formerly Oriental City) – Peruvian Hair, Indian Hair, Malaysia Hair. Braids Cornrows. Pedicure - Manicure - Spa Treatment - Waxing Massage - Polish - Screen Treatment etc.
• Bless The Hair Studio, Shop L16, Lower Level in Rivonia Central (formerly Oriental City) – "Celebrity Hairstylist for People". Wig maker, Installations, Braids, Kids plaits, Colour.
• Star Hair & Beauty Salon, Shop FF13, First Floor in Rivonia Central (formerly Oriental City) – Ethnic hair. Gents hair cut, ladies' cut, hair wash, face massage, full facial. Threading too. Open every day 08:30–19:30.
• Befitting Barber Shop, Shop GB15A, Ground in Rivonia Central (formerly Oriental City) – Ethnic men's hairdresser.
• Jah Corner Shop, Shop L15, Lower Level in Rivonia Central (formerly Oriental City) – Clothing, Chalice, Pipes, Bongos, Rizla. Open Sun-Fri 09:30–16:00. Closed Saturdays.
• Thomarts Gallery, Shop U20G, Upper Level in Morningside Shopping Centre – Artist-owned contemporary art gallery: African artists including Nkosinathi Thomas Ngulube, Art Director. Art workshops. Exhibition, art curating, art consultancy, art sales.
• Urban Escape, Shop U23, Upper Level in Morningside Shopping Centre – Nails & skin care, facial treatments, skin analysis, peels, pamper hampers, gifts. Use Dermalogica products.
• Levingers Dry Clean & Shoe Clinic, Shop L02, Lower Level in Morningside Shopping Centre – Dry Cleaners, laundry. Shoe repairs, leather repairs and dying, alterations.
• Postnet, Shop L06, Lower Level in Morningside Shopping Centre – Business Services, Courier, Copies, Laminating, Binding, Mailboxes, Internet, Printing. Trading hours: Wed: 09:00-17:30; Sat: 09:00-12:30; Other Weekdays: 08:30-17:30.
• Star Showroom, Shop L11, Lower Level in Morningside Shopping Centre – Unique and quirlky ladies' clothing, hats.
• Yorkshire Suit & Tailors, Shop L24, Lower Level in Morningside Shopping Centre – All your clothing alteration requirements. Cash is not accepted, a sign of the times?.
• Nitro Health & Nutrition, Shop L27, Lower Level in Morningside Shopping Centre – Muscle-building supplements and sports nutrition.
• Run On Clouds, Shop LC001, Lower Level in Morningside Shopping Centre – Running shoe kiosk near the foot of the escalator. ON Performance Running footwear and Compress Sport Running gear.
• Party Shop, Shop L10-14, Lower Level in Rivonia Central (formerly Oriental City) – Party supplies, decorations, costumes.

Samsung Censorship?

Trying something new, I dictated the first draft of the editorial above using Samsung voice recognition on my smartphone. It clearly has trouble with my accent from time to time, and has the annoying habit of deciding that certain words for example o*** are swear words! Otherwise it's pretty good. I could be dictating a lot of my WhatsApp text messages in future.

What was the o*** that Samsung took as a naughty word?  Why, that was the "Oriental" in "Oriental City".  Funny that the Chinese use the word themselves, but the South Koreans want to censor it!

Funny Language, Sow Thefrickan English...

"Here is a feather announcement..."

Bought the Farm*  (*the "farm" might refer to a cemetery plot)  Back to top

• Freddy Morningside, Shop U21a in Morningside Shopping Centre – Clothing store. "WR.UP denim trousers, designed to underline all women’s best shape". WR.UP Sport, corsair-style pants in D.I.W.O. (Dry In Wet Out).
• CBD Shop (Kiosk) in Morningside Shopping Centre – CBD oils from the hemp plant. Reputed cure-all. Kiosk opposite Freddy and Frozen for You.
• CruiseAbout, Shop U23 in Morningside Shopping Centre – Travel Agents and cruising specialists, a division of Flight Centre.
• Executailors, Shop L02 in Morningside Shopping Centre – Dry cleaning, tailor and shoe repairs.
• Cartridge Depot, Shop L06a in Morningside Shopping Centre – Suppliers of refills, re-manufactured and new printer cartridges.
• Kodak Express Image & Print, Shop L06 in Morningside Shopping Centre – Photographic printing, design work, cameras and accessories, photocopying, business cards, internet café, photography, in-house studio, brochures.
• STA Travel, Shop L10 in Morningside Shopping Centre – Travel Agent.
• Biltong Etc, Shop L24 in Morningside Shopping Centre – Biltong (South Africa's secret weapon) and other snacks. Just on the left outside Pick 'n Pay.
• Xtreme Nutrition, Shop L27 in Morningside Shopping Centre – Sports supplements and other stuff to mess with your body, at remarkable prices. Open Mon-Fri 8:00-17:00.
• Richard's Fitzone, Shop FF16 in Rivonia Village – Personal fitness training with weights and equipment. Was1st Floor.
• ZA Tanning Studio, Shop FF15 in Rivonia Village – Was1st Floor.
• Cafe Legends, Shop L04 in Rivonia Central (formerly Oriental City) – Pure Kenyan coffees. Was Lower Level.
• SA Cellular, Shop L04 in Rivonia Central (formerly Oriental City) – Cellphone and computer accessories: Car phone chargers, covers, cell phone coating. Was Lower Level.
• Furniture Manufacturer Retail, Shop L03 in Rivonia Central (formerly Oriental City) – Chinese and South African furniture. Extensive shop to furnish the bedroom, lounge, dining-room, patio, office and boardroom. Was Lower Level.
• Rivonia Asian Supermarket, Shop L01 in Rivonia Central (formerly Oriental City) – Extensive Supermarket opened 27 Sept 2014 in place of the Pick n Pay. A variety of foods from Korea, China, Japan, Thailand and Taiwan. Sushi Bar, Bento Box Bar, Taiwanese Beef Noodle Bar and a Bakery. Was Lower Level.
• Bag Town, Shop L21/22 in Rivonia Central (formerly Oriental City) – All kinds of bags, handbags, travel luggage Was Lower Level.
• Tic Tac Toes, Shop L17 in Rivonia Central (formerly Oriental City) – Chinese Party Shop: All sorts of things for parties. Was Lower Level.
• FF Unisex Hair Salon, Shop L16 in Rivonia Central (formerly Oriental City) – Was Lower Level.

Thought for the Day:

Every job needs communication.  Hence, learning to speak in public is essential for any successful career —Rick Raubenheimer

Is the National Anthem Unpatriotic?

Moodys and Fitch have further downgraded South Africa's credit rating.

I blame the National Anthem.

With democracy, we got a new flag. But in our national anthem we kept the worst of both old worlds.

Apartheid anthem Die Stem should never have been included.

Neither should Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika: Many love it, but in the Anthem it is unconstitutional. It is a Christian hymn; our Bill of Rights prohibits special treatment for any one religion.  How, in good faith, can a Muslim, a Jew, a Hindu, an atheist, sing it?

And what about its contents? "God save Africa", "protect our nation": we will sit on our butts and wait to be saved. Instead of protecting ourselves, we wait for handouts. This attitude has libelled Africa as basket case of the world.

Is it "patriotic" to support this failed idea? Should we teach our children to revere an anthem that promotes victim mentality? Is this inspiring, aspirational, our ideal?

No. Let us ditch our divisive and destructive National Anthem. As with the flag, let us develop a new one.  One not shared with other countries, but unique, as we are. One that inspires us, not to hold out a begging bowl to an imaginary god, but help ourselves unite, celebrate, build, and grow into a great nation.

Overheard Near the Checkout

"These 'Fashion Scatters' I hear being advertised –what are they?"
"Probably like torn jeans now being a fashion item: you scatter litter around and instead of it being ugly, it's high fashion?"