The Truth about the "Jukskei River baptism drownings"
(or, Why do CoJ EMS and the Media Lie to Us?)

Recently, newspapers, radio and TV carried lurid reports alleging the drowning of 15 people and a baby on Saturday 3 December “in the Jukskei River”.  The tragic baptism ceremony was said to have been in Bramley Park.  Joburg EMS searched for bodies near Grayston Drive, Innesfree Park, the 8th and 12th Avenue Rivonia bridges, and as far as the N1 and Witkoppen Road.

What if this never happened as stated?

What if the Spokesperson of the City of Johannesburg (CoJ) Emergency Management Services (EMS) has been misinforming the media?

Let's look at the facts.

Come with me to the Jukskei River on Google Maps.  This link is to where London Road, Alexandra, crosses the river.  Zoom out (-) if need be. The river flows northwards, that is, towards the top of the map.  Drag the map downwards and trace the river's course downstream. It flows through Alexandra, past Marlboro, and through Buccleuch east of the M1-N1-N3 Buccleuch interchange. Track it through Waterfall City, Leeuwkop, north of Lonehill, and as far as Dainfern, if you like.

Notice that the Jukskei River goes nowhere near the places mentioned in the first paragraph: Grayston Drive, Innesfree Park, the 8th and 12th Avenue Rivonia bridges, or Witkoppen Road.

What is going on?

Let's go to the start: Search on Google Maps for Bramley Park, Sandton.  At the eastern (left) edge of that suburb, east of the M1 Motorway, is a park with a watercourse.  That river is not shown as a continuous stream on Google Maps, but if you click on "Layers" to switch to Satellite view, the green belt is obvious. This river also flows northwards.  Drag the map down and trace the green belt downstream: Under Grayston Drive (sound familiar?). There's Innesfree Park, Ullmann Park, the 8th and 12th Avenue Rivonia bridges, and the N1 and Witkoppen Road.

This is the river where the drownings happened. Where the bodies were recovered.

It's not the Jukskei river. The Jukskei, as you have seen, lies in the next catchment to the east.

This is the Sandspruit.  It's not named on Google Maps (an unfortunate omission), but you can check using Google Streetview on the N1 where it crosses the river.  You'll see the sign shown below.

All evidence indicates that these tragic drownings were in the Sandspruit.

Why were the media lying to us?

On 702 Radio's Early Breakfast Show at 05:41 on 7 December, I reported this error on-air to host Africa Melane.  His producer undertook to tell so-called Eye-Witness News (who never answer their phone).  Nevertheless, EWN persisted in their false reports.

Even the Sandton Chronicle, named after Sandton, which itself is named after the Sandspruit, appears ignorant of the geography of its own area.

The source of the problem seems to lie (forgive the pun) with Robert Mulaudzi, Spokesperson of CoJ EMS, and his briefings like this one to the SABC. Mr Molaudzi steadfastly maintains the fiction (as we now know) that it was in the Jukskei.  The media seem to have accepted it, parrot-fashion, with not a single journalist taking five minutes to do a fact-check, as we did together above.

It was not easy to find a working phone number for Mr Molaudzi. His landline number listed at Joburg EMS was "not a recognised phone number".  The call centre agent at Joburg EMS hotline 011 375 5911 was unaware that he existed at all, let alone was a spokesperson for them.  Google helped me reach his colleague who gave me his cell number.

When I phoned, Mr Molaudzi had a lot of trouble admitting that it was not the Jukskei river, but then claimed it didn't matter.  As I was explaining why it does, he cut me off.  Could we conclude that he would rather leave false information with the public than admit to an error?  What unfortunate arrogance.

Well, why DOES it Matter?

Firstly, the truth matters.  Giving blatantly false information can only undermine the credibility of Joburg EMS, its Spokesperson, and the media.

But for those who do not value truth, there is a another cogent reason. Calling the incident the "Jukskei River Drownings" is putting more lives at risk.

Consider this: Church groups who do river baptisms now believe, from the publicity, that the Jukskei is dangerous.  Which it is, indeed. Where are they more likely to do baptisms in future?  Why, a km or two from Alexandra lies the Sandspruit!  It looks like such a placid stream (most of the time).  It's cleaner.  It's so much smaller than the Jukskei River, where Robert Mulaudzi tells them people drowned.

More people will go into the Sandspruit, not knowing that it, too, can be fatal.  More will drown in flash floods.  Joburg EMS will have to retrieve more bodies.  Mr Mulaudzi, still unable to admit a simple error, will again call it the Jukskei.  Yet more people will avoid the Jukskei –and instead drown in the Sandspruit, perpetuating the cycle.

Is this what Joburg EMS and the media want?  No?  Then tell the public the truth.  It's not a capital offense to admit that you got the name of a river wrong.

For the Record

To confirm the Sandspruit and the Jukskei River as labelled on Topographical map 2628AA, plus more details of their routes, click here.

Odd Jobs:  Back to top

Could a highly experienced animal doctor be a Veteran Veterinarian? A Vet Vet for short?

Yet Another Mondegreen

“Dancing queen, feel the heat from the tangerine”.

...

Correct lyric:

“Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine” from ABBA’s ‘Dancing Queen’."  [With thanks to this site]

New on the Block, Movers and Shakers  Back to top

• SPCA Book Shop, Shop 20, Lower Level in Morning Glen Mall – Second-hand books for sale opposite Clicks at ridiculously low prices in aid of Sandton SPCA. Open Wed & Fri 10:00-16:00, Saturday 09:00-13:00.
• Video Spot – DVD hire. Moved up the road from The Colony, Craighall to a larger shop in Hyde Park Terrace, 335 Jan Smuts Ave. Huge new section selling DVDs. Over 35,000 titles. Just hit 40 years.
• CMH Nissan Sandton – Nissan showroom. Moved from just opposite Bryanston Shopping Centre, cnr William Nicol & Ballyclare Drive, to 348 Jan Smuts Ave, Craighall.
• Salix Manufacturing Jewellers in The Colony, Craighall has moved up to the First Floor.
• Energy Emporium in The Colony, Craighall has moved to the First Floor. It and the Vajrapani Kadampa Buddhist Centre are currently accessed up the metal staircase left of Baby City.
• Liberté, Ground in The Colony, Craighall – French food and wine. Restaurant and Bakery. French and South African wines with a focus on female winemakers.
• Checkers, Ground in The Colony, Craighall – Supermarket: Groceries, household needs, fresh produce.
• Checkers Liquor – Opening soon in The Colony, Craighall.
• Good Boi Club, Lower Level in The Colony, Craighall – Pet shop.
• Buccleuch Cellphone Shop, Shop 11, Ground in The Bridge Shopping Centre – Wholesale and retail: Cell phone repair centre for all kinds. Accessories, pouches, computer monitors, screen protectors.
• Healing with Crafts, Ground in The Bridge Shopping Centre – Fabric painting, decoupage, mosaic, diamond dotting and much more. Enquire about their fun workshops.
• Clamira Hair & Beauty, Ground in The Bridge Shopping Centre – Avon products.
• Romis Fashion, 1st Floor in The Bridge Shopping Centre.
• Little Ashford Preschool Petervale – 33 Frans Hals Street, directly opposite the entrance to Petervale Shopping Centre. For children 2 months to 6 years old. Uses the UK's official Early Years Foundation Stage framework.
• SMH Group: Abarth, Jeep & Alfa Romeo Sandton near Bryanston Shopping Centre – Showroom just opposite, cnr William Nicol & Ballyclare Drive.
• Paulshof Flowers, Ground in Cambridge Crossing – Flowers, budget weddings/functions, balloons, helium, plush toys, pot plants, basketware, interflora, hampers, pottery.
• Vespa Scooters Johannesburg Sandton, Building A in Rivonia Crossing 2 – Service and Parts.
• Valia's Café, outside Building A in Rivonia Crossing 2 – Kiosk. Seems to be associated with Vespa.
• Gilroy Brewery, coming soon to Building A in Rivonia Crossing 2.
• Local Choice Pharmacy / Primary Care Clinic, Building B in Rivonia Crossing 2 – Medical and health assessments, screenings - blood pressure, cholesterol, glucose, etc. Vaccinations. Well baby development.
• Carbon Bros Automotive Aesthetics, Shop 05, Building B in Rivonia Crossing 2 – Carbon fibre accessories. Vehicle wraps, vehicle branding, window tinting, vehicle paint protection film, vehicle detailing.
• Tiger Wheel & Tyre, Ground in Rivonia Crossing 1 – Wheel and tyre fitment centre offering branded tyres at "affordable" prices. Moved from Chilli on Top.
• Chic Blush, Shop 13, Lower Level in Morning Glen Mall – "Girly shop": Make-up and stuff. Opened December 2022.
• Thyme Square, Shop 09, Lower Level in Morning Glen Mall opposite Pick 'n Pay 'n Pay – Coffee, teas, smoothies, cakes, pastries, salads, sandwiches, light meals, cold drinks.

Out of The Colony and into The Woods

We normally cover Sandton and Bryanston, but Megaplex has a web page for The Colony Shopping Centre. This is because Rick visits to give blood at the SANBS donor clinic. It's at 345 Jan Smuts Avenue, corner of Rothesay Avenue, Craighall Park, Johannesburg.

The Colony has been sold and is being hugely remodelled. You can see the new and moved shops listed above. Listed below are many tenants that have been lost: The colourful traditional pub The Colony Arms, Living Yoga, Mandy's, Bookdealers, the Chinese restaurant, Steers and Lekker Vegan.

The anti-colonialist new owners are rebranding the centre as "The Woods". Confusion will no doubt ensue with Woodlands in Sandton. As of 13 December, signage still shows "The Colony".

The centre has a huge new supermarket (Checkers), with Checkers Liquor to come. It still has Baby City.  The pharmacy has moved and joined the Local Choice chain. There is an ATM, but no banks. The inaccurately-named Pronto Restaurant is on ground level. Opposite is eager new French restaurant, Liberté.

The centre is on a steep slope and in several levels. The first entrance you come to when driving North on Jan Smuts Avenue leads to a square with limited parking. We call it the "Ground Floor". That is where the restaurants are. A lift and three staircases lead to the first floor: SANBS, Kumon, logiscool, Luna Spa, jewellers, the optician and other survivors.

From the square, you can drive through under an archway to extensive parking at the back of the centre. This parking has an exit and entrance on Rothesay Avenue. The pharmacy, Checkers, and Baby City face that area. The Buddhist Centre and the "woo shop" Energy Emporium are now above Baby City. Go up the external metal staircase (what a pity they don't provide access by levitation).

If you skip the first parking entrance, there is a second one just before Rothesay Avenue, also with limited parking. On this "Lower Level" is a new pet shop (selling new pets).  Also a vast Dial-a-Bed, Kiddie Ma Jigs, and First Choice Flooring.

The central staircase at the heart of the centre was sacrificed to make space for Checkers. Now there is no direct route from the first and ground floors (Pronto) to the lower level (Dial-a-Bed, etc). You have to go via the back parking. Here's our new web page for The Woods.

Thought for the Week:

You can tell a man's nationality by introducing him to an attractive woman:
An Englishman shakes her hand
A Frenchman kisses her hand
An American asks for a date
A South African invites her to a braai
And a Russian calls Moscow for instructions.

Festive Presents for you: Automated Excel Spreadsheets:

Software Africa's website has free spreadsheets for you:

• Toastmasters Speech Contest Certificates
• Bank Account Reconciliation,
• Vehicle Fuel Consumption,
• Rainfall, Water and Electricity Meter Readings,
• Quotation System (with Bill of Materials), and
• John Demartini Fast Savings Calculator.

Faded away:  Back to top

• Discovery Junction Pre-School – 33 Frans Hals Street, directly opposite the entrance to Petervale Shopping Centre.
• Carlton Hair in Cambridge Crossing – Ladies, gents, ethnic and Caucasian hair. Facials, manicures, pedicures, waxing and waning.
• Barberazzi Barbershop, Shop 16 in Cambridge Crossing – Men's hairdressers. Gents cut, brush cut, hot towel shave, nose/ear wax, threading.
• Woodka Interiors in Cambridge Crossing – Home decor, stylish furnishings and interior design services for your home. Affordable interior design packages.
• Vet To Pet in Cambridge Crossing – Vet store for dogs, cats, birds, etc. Food and accessories. Super Vet, Royal Canin, Eukanuba, Iams, Hills.
• Matrix Warehouse Computers in Rivonia Crossing 2 – Computer sales and repairs. Technical services, IT technical services, video surveillance. Was in Building A upper.
• Maverick Gaming in Rivonia Crossing 2 – Matrix Warehouse's gaming centre offered 140 PC gaming stations. Was in Building A.
• Adega Restaurant Rivonia in Rivonia Crossing 2 – Traditional Portuguese Cuisine: Ironic motto "Always open, always good". Was in Building A.
• Huayuan Palace Chinese Restaurant in Rivonia Crossing 2 – Was on Building A.
• Soiree in Rivonia Crossing 2 – Corporate functions, events, bachelorette parties, part and event venue. Formerly Movida Club. Was in Building A.
• Bosch Car Service in Rivonia Crossing 2 – Vehicle Service and Maintenance.
• Rivonia Midas, Shop 10 in Rivonia Crossing 2 – Car care, Outdoor, Tools, Trailer Accessories, Vehicle Accessories, Wheel Accessories, Tyre Repair Kits, Wheel Spacers. Was Building B.
• Rivonia Honda in Rivonia Crossing 2 – New and pre-owned Hondas for sale. Car and motorcycle service. Block B on the corner of Rivonia Road and Witkoppen.
• Clive Mann Auto in Rivonia Crossing 1 – Motor car dealership.
• WesBank Finance in Rivonia Crossing 1 – Motor vehicle finance, car loans.
• Executive Toys in Rivonia Crossing 1 – Premium quality vehicles: Audi, BMW, Mercedes-Benz, Jaguar, etc.
• DJS Dave Smith Tax Specialists in The Colony, Craighall.
• Dr Mark S Van Niekerk, Dr Jaqueline Yutar, & Dr Rachelle Braude, GPs in The Colony, Craighall – General Practitioners.
• Bookdealers at The Colony, Shop 15B in The Colony, Craighall – Book shop: Large variety of publishers' overstocks (remainders), extensive and interesting selection of rare and out-of-print, and second-hand books.
• JDI Research in The Colony, Craighall – An independent market research venue, offering 5 boardrooms & viewing rooms for conducting focus groups. Services include recruiting, moderating, transcribing & note taking.
• Mandy's Ladies Fashions in The Colony, Craighall – Dresses etc.
• Lekker Vegan in The Colony, Craighall – Vegan Gourmet Junk Food. Dedicated to making plant-based foods with the best meat alternatives. The best vegan junk food in Africa?
• The Colony Arms in The Colony, Craighall – Local pub. Open Friday & Saturday. No girls under 20, no guys under 21.
• Steers, Shop LG12 in The Colony, Craighall – Fast Food Steak Restaurant and take-away.
• Debonairs Pizza, Shop LG12 in The Colony, Craighall – Restaurant: Pizza, Juices, Soft drinks, Potato wedges. Delivery.
• Latora Athletic near The Colony, Craighall – Sports gear, equipment and coaching clinics: Range of sports accessories from junior to professional level.

You Know You're in South Africa when...

People give you limp handshakes ("like they are putting a dead rat into your hand", to quote my friend Gigi).

You see, pressing firmly is disrespectful: you may seem to be trying to dominate the other person.

This is the Future of Renewing Your Vehicle License!

Our car licence expires this month.  When I was at Waterfall collecting my new driver's license, I saw a QR code on the wall inviting us to renew licenses online at Natis Online Services.  There you can:

• Book to renew your Driving Licence Card
• Book a Learner's Licence Test
• Book a Driving Licence Test
• Book for a PrDP (Professional Driving Permit) Application
• Renew your Motor Vehicle Licence, and
• Report a Motor Vehicle Crash (Damage Only)

To use these services, register a profile (not entirely straightforward) and then log in.

The vehicle license renewal went more smoothly.  They will even deliver the licence by courier for an extra R99, a bargain.  The main hitch was with paying.  Neither on my cell phone, nor later on my laptop, would it accept payment with an FNB Visa card.  Eventually, I used a Nedbank card, which went through immediately.  Maybe the system was having an "off" day.

The license arrived under a week later, preceded by two SMS notifications.  Great service and simpler than other methods.

Overheard at the Checkout

"You're always on the go -- how do you do it?"

"I wear Anti-Static socks!"

[and to prove it, here's the picture:]